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How to Bring Sexy Back

Yes, I’m talking about sex and what I’m talking to you about are some of the feelings many single and married men and women have shared with me about their relationships and their sexuality.

Perhaps you’re feeling this way, too.  You feel like you’re not as attractive to the opposite sex, your spouse or partner as you once did.  Your body doesn’t look and feel the way you want it to during those bedroom moments.  When it comes down to gettin’ down, do you find yourself trying to hide your body in the dark, and not showing yourself off in all your glory with the lights on?

Ladies, have you all but given up on wearing those sexy Victoria’s Secret bra and panties? 
Guys, are those low rise designer briefs sitting in your underwear draw like a faded memory and have been replaced by your grandfather’s high rise non designer boring white briefs (aka the “tighty whities”)?

Being fit and healthy IS sexy and makes you feel sexy and alive!  

Let’s face it.  Your health and fitness and the way you feel about your body, can have a major impact on not only your sexuality, but the quality of your sexual experiences for you and your partner.

Are you ready to look better, feel better, have more energy, more sex appeal and better sex?  I’m going to share with you my tips on how you can bring sexy back into your life and your bedroom not only for the short term, but for the rest of your life.

Sexy food
If you want to bring sexy back short term with sexy foods, the foods you eat can affect how you feel, and how your body looks, and have you feeling not so sexy.  You want to avoid foods that are going to make you feel bloated, gassy, repeat on you, can cause bad breath and rob you of your energy.  Salt makes your body retain water which can leave you feeling sluggish, heavy and bloated. 

Eating fast food will make you feel anything but sexy so you definitely will want to avoid hitting up places like the golden arches and run as far away from the border as you possibly can.

Most restaurants use excessive amounts of salt so if you are dining out, be sure to drink lots of water to flush excessive sodium out of your body to reduce water retention.

Starchy carbohydrates can leave you feeling full and bloated so instead of ordering a stuffed baked potato as your side dish, order two vegetables side dishes instead.

It goes without saying that you should avoid peppers, onions and garlic as these food items will have you belching and will also cause bad breath, which isn’t sexy at all.

Don’t feel obligated to “clean your plate”.  When you eat a large meal, your digestive system has to work harder to digest your meal redirecting some of your body’s blood supply away from your brain to your gut.  This can drain your energy, make you feel tired, and can make a nap seem more appealing than a bedroom romp.

When thinking sexy foods, think naked.  You don’t want your food covered up in creamy sauces, or gravy.   You want to order your foods grilled or broiled. Think seafood, fish, chicken or steak.  Think green for your side dishes such as steamed broccoli, asparagus or green beans.  Think protein and vegetables on your plate.

Rich, decadent desserts such as cakes, pies and pastries can make you feel bloated and will rob you of your energy from the sugar crash.  Instead, opt for some fresh fruit or sorbet.

Sugary drinks and energy drinks can make you feel bloated and will rob you of your energy making you feel lethargic once the effects of the sugar wears off, aka….. the sugar crash.

Many of us will have alcohol to “loosen up and relax”, but if you’re not careful, alcohol can have very negative affects on your sexual performance. 

“… excessive alcohol consumption can decrease women’s DHEA, which is related to sex drive. In men, it decreases testosterone, which is the backbone to male sex drive, and can make vasopressin plummet, meaning it might be difficult to achieve an erection. Even touching your lover can lose its magic because alcohol reduces oxytocin, so the sense of touch is not as sensitive.” ~ Maryanne Fisher, Ph.D. Relationship between sex and Food

If you want to bring sexy back for the long term with sexy foods,  you will need to feed your body foods that will make you feel sexy every day and cut back or eliminate foods that don’t make you feel or look sexy.

Foods that make you look and feel sexy inside-out include eggs, beef, fish, chicken, whey protein, raw veggies such as broccoli, spinach, zucchini, squash, mushrooms, tomatoes, fresh fruits such as apples, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries and cherries and good fats such as avocados, walnuts, almonds, coconut oil, Macadamia Nut Oil and Olive Oil and nutrient-rich starches such as Yams, Sweet Potatoes, Quinoa, Brown Rice and Wild Rice.

Staying well hydrated with lots of water will help improve your energy levels, will help keep hunger at bay, and will help you feel less bloated flushing excess sodium and toxins out of your body.  Staying well hydrated with water keeps your skin from drying out and gives your skin a healthy glow which  is always attractive to the opposite sex.

Your sexual fitness
Your health and fitness plays a major role behind closed doors physically, mentally and visually.  While sex is very visual and mental, it is also very physical.  Your sexual fitness affects your sex drive, your sexuality, how comfortable you are with your body, how your body looks to your partner, how you view your partner’s body, your physical stamina and endurance.

Exercise releases endorphins, sex hormones, is a great way to relieve stress and elevates your mood.  Exercise also helps you feel better about your body.  The more you exercise, the better your body will look and feel.  Exercise also helps improve your energy level and you definitely want to feel energetic during sex.

For women, the link between exercise and sex has been explored by Cindy Meston and her colleagues. Their results indicate that working out – albeit vigorously – primes women’s bodies for sexual activity.

As for men, sexual experiences also benefit from exercise. …Men who exercise reported higher levels of sexual intimacy, more satisfying orgasms, and more reliable sexual functioning.  ~ Maryanne Fisher, Ph.D. – Exercise for Better Sex

Studies have shown that those who exercise on a regular basis have good self- esteem,  feel good about their bodies and not only have more sex, but have more enjoyable, satisfying sex.  If having more enjoyable, satisfying sex doesn’t get you motivated to get off the couch and to the gym, I don’t know what will!

Now that I’ve talked about the benefits of exercise when it comes to sex, it’s time for you to get that body moving. 

Getting sexy with a fit, healthy body
Let’s talk about the body.  Nothing can be more of a kill joy than feeling self-conscious about a flabby body and worrying if certain positions are going to make your body look less than desirable to your partner.  Let’s face it, muscle is sexy and there’s nothing sexier than a firm, lean body.

To tighten and firm up your body and rid yourself of body fat don’t make the mistake of relying only on cardio, although cardio can certainly enhance your workout program.  Cardio alone is NOT going to give you the firm body you want and give your body shape.  To tighten and firm your body, you want to lift weights.  Strength training builds muscle and gives your body shape.  Not only that, but strength training burns more calories and continues to burn calories post workout.

If you want to bring sexy back for the long term with fitness,  as with your diet (sexy foods), you will need to be consistent with your workouts so be sure to make the time and schedule fitness into your week.

To get the full benefits of a good strength training workout program, you want to workout at least 3 days a week 45-60 minutes.  If you choose to include cardio in your program, 20 minutes of cardio 3 days a week will help burn extra calories and will also help improve your stamina and endurance.

You can do a full body workout during each training session choosing 1 exercise per body part or you can do body split training focusing on specific body parts.  If you need a workout program to follow, check out my article, “Do you have a fitness game plan?”

Are you feeling sexy?
I’ve shared with you some short term and long term tips and tricks on how to bring sexy back in your life.  As you incorporate these tips and tricks into your life, and you start to look better and feel better and sexier, be sure to treat yourself to those things that make you feel sexy when you’re with your partner.

For me, personally, when I feel good and look good, I like wearing clothes that make me feel feminine and it also helps set the tone and the mood for the person I’m with.  Nothing makes a guy feel good and confident about his masculinity than when a woman dresses up for him and allows him to be the man he is.  It’s a win-win for both of you.

Guys, tell the woman you’re with how beautiful you think she is.  Nothing makes a woman feel sexier and better about herself when you tell her she’s beautiful. 

Now go and enjoy the company of that special someone in your life.

The Relationship Between Sex and Food
Exercise for Better Sex
Sexual Desirability and Sexual Performance: Does Exercise and Fitness Really Matter?
How to keep on burning that fat off
Do You Have a Fitness Game Plan?

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  1. 4 Comment(s)

  2. By CAREYANN | Reply

    This is a very persuasive and creative article. The little dirty secret that every woman doesn’t want to talk about is how she feels about her body as she gets older. Being fit and firm is the key to successfully negotiating the years when we put on some weight and look less attractive. This is good advice. I am glad to see it posted on ModelsActrsses.


  3. By Scott Tousignant | Reply

    Excellent article Shari!

    One of the big benefits from transforming your body is the confidence that the individual radiates. Confidence in a woman is INCREDIBLY sexy.

    One of the sexiest things that I have ever done for myself was a photo shoot to celebrate my continued journey of growth and transformation. I view training as an art form and when I captured my physique in still images it became art.

    Everyone deserves to feel sexy!

  4. By sharifitness | Reply

    Thanks for the feedback, Scott. I agree, confidence is VERY sexy and I personally find a man to be very sexy if he is secure and confident with himself. A man who has confidence tends to be an “Alpha Male” ….

    Scott you and I both have transformed our bodies and you know how that changes you not just on the outside, but on the inside as well.

    Yes, everyone deserves to feel sexy and should feel sexy and you are doing amazing things and making such a positive impact on so many. Not only are you transforming bodies, you are transforming lives 🙂

  5. By dj unison | Reply

    “amazing read!”

    Ive been progressively working out for a year now and my body has transformed I feel better than ever and the sex and confidence is amazingly better!! This article is the truth..

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